with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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