If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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