Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
