After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
