it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
