No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
