Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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