we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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