How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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