If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
