i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Found the puke drawer
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
