try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
