in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
