i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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