So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
