I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
did you just send me my own nude
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
