I skipped work to stalk him.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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