yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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