he thought i was a dude.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
