Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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