Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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