Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
