Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize