God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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