You can't motorboat a personality
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
