question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
