4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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