why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
