I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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