She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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