We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
