I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
