Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
