every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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