Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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