just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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