yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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