Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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