Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
