I want to have your abortion
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i would punch a child for taco bell
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
