Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
