and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
