i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
