True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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