If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just pee around me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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