Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
