gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
