I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
