Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
