am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
